The host at the beginning of the show may be a mutual friend, or there may actually be none. The recording studio can range from a dark, musty bar to a lively Mexican restaurant and as for the contestants, well there's hardly ever any in-depth background check and they can range from a Brad Pitt lookalike to a Ted Bundy wannabe. The prize is high stakes: love or at the very least a hot fling.
The date, or "this week's show", starts off with the pleasantries and a few innocuous questions, and as the alcohol - a must in most episodes - flows maybe the conversation does too. During this flow, a genius may be discovered, a soul mate found or your worst nightmare exposed. Or not. The bed of the river of conversation may in fact run completely dry, no matter how much alcohol you pour into it. Thus, the dilemmas begin. Do you make a deft departure, excusing yourself with an emergency call from a friend or do you politely postpone your exit until the end of the meal/night? Do you babble on about the atrocities of your job, recount childhood memories, share your ex's flaws or just stifle the yawn that has been slowly building up? Or do you pretend to be something that you’re not and tell tall stories of drama and adventure? Decisions, decisions.
The end of the show may come quickly for some and far too sluggishly for others. Either way, unless an emergency call has been made by a life-saving friend, contestants are then left with the awkwardness of goodbye. Will it be a peck on the cheek, a hearty smack on the lips, a full on tongue twisting snog or a barely there hug? Does the moment require a deceitful promise of the continuation of contact or can the two be honest and delete each other from their phones? Or perhaps, the two contestants will walk away while Bryan Adams croons in the background “Everything I do” and the stars will twinkle brightly and for a good 24 hours the world will seem like it’s a better place.
But wait, what if your Brad Pitt lookalike is a dull as Jennifer Anniston yet he thinks you're not only better looking than Angelina Jolie but more interesting by far?! Obviously, promises have to be made to text or call tomorrow. And obviously, neither will be done.
Oh, wait a minute. It could be even worse. Your Brad Pitt lookalike could actually be gainfully employed, have his own place and car, have no offspring, be responsible, trustworthy, funny, interesting and completely not interested in you.
The possible outcomes of this show are almost infinite but the feelings it provokes are seemingly less than that. After all, we’re only talking about the spectrum ranging from jubilance to despair, multiply that by the fact that there are two people involved who may have completely different perspectives on the experience… Well, yes it seems that the potential induced feelings may be infinite too.
I'm married. Happily, I hasten to add. And I thank my lucky stars for that because I don't think I would want to be a contestant on this particular game show. I’m sure there are many audiences partaking in these shows that would disagree with me, and that would argue that there are many humorous moments to be shared. Indeed, that the prize outweighs the disappointment. I take my hat off to that audience because I personally couldn’t deal with the exposé it all entails.
I’m married. Happily married. And I thank my lucky stars for that.
